Fri, 27 December 2019 23:06

Whats everyone's plans or ambitions for 2020 bike wise?

Me, fairly simple, get out on it more often than a few times a month to work, proper rides out unlike last few years

Sun, 22 December 2019 13:13

The milkman

The milkman delivers the milk the day before Christmas and rings the bell of number 11, hoping for a festive tip. As the door opens, he sees a beautiful woman standing there wearing a see-through nightie.
She takes him by the hand and guides him upstairs where she makes mad passionate love to him. At the end of the session, they return downstairs where she cooks a delicious fried breakfast and hands him $1.
"I don't understand" says the puzzled milkman. "What's going on?"
She replies, "When I asked my husband whether I should give you a $5 tip, he replied, 'F*ck the milkman and give him $1.' The breakfast was my idea."

Sat, 21 December 2019 21:34

Sat, 21 December 2019 12:06

I've been contemplating upgrading my iTX (mini) PC system for a while and as its Christmas and likely now that I'm older and no one really has any idea what to buy me something other than socks and other boring clothes so comtemplating whether to treat myself

There's nothing wrong with my current motherboard, CPU (its an i7-3770) and memory (16GB of DDR3) but I have a desire for an M2 based SSD for stupidly fast performance compared to my OS drive already being a 2.5" SSD which in the real world (rather than performance benchmarks) is pretty much as fast as required.

I reckon the parts I'd replace with this upgrade I can sell for ~£200 on ebay so the question isn't so much 'to buy to not to buy' but whether I'll have bought them by the time you read this.


^^ note this is CCL Online, they're just 3 miles up the road from me and in stock

Fri, 20 December 2019 15:42

My children keep finding their Christmas presents that I've hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the loft.

So I tried that last night, but their constant crying and whining kept me awake. All the "I'm afraid of the dark" or "I don't like it up here - there are spiders" really got on my nerves. Any other suggestions?

Fri, 06 December 2019 08:39

Has anyone else started getting first page messages from Mozilla to the tune of "An account is not mandatory but..."?

I think I am not the only one who uses FireFox because is wary of Alphabet/Google and because the alternatives are mostly junk. Tor is fine but... well, no point using it if you don't want to access the Dark/Deep Web.
I am absolutely fine with soliciting donations, but this new trend seems to me as a not-so-veiled attempt at gathering data that will be then used for the usual shady purposes. See FaceBook.
And if you believe the failed German and Swedish politicians in Brussels will protect you by making websites a chore to enter I have a fountain in Rome to sell you.

Sun, 01 December 2019 21:40

An ad in my local paper said, "No job too small"
but when I showed him the box of atoms I wanted splitting the man got really shirty!

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What is it with these people that refuse to embrace modern technology?
Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

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I've discovered that I have a superpower.
I can melt ice cubes just by staring at them.
It takes a while though.

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I took my kids to a firework display last night....
"Dad, can we actually buy some next year?" asked the eldest as we stood looking at them behind the counter in Sainsbury's.

Mon, 25 November 2019 08:32

Anyone go? Went for the 1st time for years, enjoyed the day.
Favorite bike was the 650 Norton, 175 bhp wow...

Saw the new blade and it looked lovely, but only stated 160 bhp on the spec sheet. Where have the rest of the ponies gone?

Sun, 24 November 2019 11:20

1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.

2. My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25 and her name is Heather.

3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "paedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 22 and I'm 70. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

4. My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

5. The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

6. A man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

7. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

8. My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to the Salvation Army to get all of her clothes back.

9. The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said, "We'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway."

10. If you get an email entitled, "Nude Photo of Hillary Clinton", don't open it, it contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton.

Tue, 19 November 2019 08:18

My brother has given to me a GeForce GTX-970 because he "bought a much better one". I should check the details but I believe it's this one: https://it.msi.com/Graphics-card/GTX-970-GAMING-4G.html

I know I would need at very least need a new PSU to run it but I have serious doubts my motherboard can handle it. This is my motherboard: https://us.msi.com/Motherboard/A88X-G41-PC-Mate.html. I presently have a rather modest AMD R7 240 on it. But I don't play porn on it.

This PC has served me well for five years now (apart from those mysterious power outages which seem to have solved themselves) so I don't know if it makes sense replacing it. Perhaps I should just wait for the Windows 10 replacement to come out and decide then?