Fri, 20 December 2019 15:42

My children keep finding their Christmas presents that I've hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the loft.

So I tried that last night, but their constant crying and whining kept me awake. All the "I'm afraid of the dark" or "I don't like it up here - there are spiders" really got on my nerves. Any other suggestions?

Fri, 06 December 2019 08:39

Has anyone else started getting first page messages from Mozilla to the tune of "An account is not mandatory but..."?

I think I am not the only one who uses FireFox because is wary of Alphabet/Google and because the alternatives are mostly junk. Tor is fine but... well, no point using it if you don't want to access the Dark/Deep Web.
I am absolutely fine with soliciting donations, but this new trend seems to me as a not-so-veiled attempt at gathering data that will be then used for the usual shady purposes. See FaceBook.
And if you believe the failed German and Swedish politicians in Brussels will protect you by making websites a chore to enter I have a fountain in Rome to sell you.

Sun, 01 December 2019 21:40

An ad in my local paper said, "No job too small"
but when I showed him the box of atoms I wanted splitting the man got really shirty!

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What is it with these people that refuse to embrace modern technology?
Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

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I've discovered that I have a superpower.
I can melt ice cubes just by staring at them.
It takes a while though.

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I took my kids to a firework display last night....
"Dad, can we actually buy some next year?" asked the eldest as we stood looking at them behind the counter in Sainsbury's.

Mon, 25 November 2019 08:32

Anyone go? Went for the 1st time for years, enjoyed the day.
Favorite bike was the 650 Norton, 175 bhp wow...

Saw the new blade and it looked lovely, but only stated 160 bhp on the spec sheet. Where have the rest of the ponies gone?

Sun, 24 November 2019 11:20

1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.

2. My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25 and her name is Heather.

3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "paedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 22 and I'm 70. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

4. My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

5. The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

6. A man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

7. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

8. My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to the Salvation Army to get all of her clothes back.

9. The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said, "We'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway."

10. If you get an email entitled, "Nude Photo of Hillary Clinton", don't open it, it contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton.

Tue, 19 November 2019 08:18

My brother has given to me a GeForce GTX-970 because he "bought a much better one". I should check the details but I believe it's this one: https://it.msi.com/Graphics-card/GTX-970-GAMING-4G.html

I know I would need at very least need a new PSU to run it but I have serious doubts my motherboard can handle it. This is my motherboard: https://us.msi.com/Motherboard/A88X-G41-PC-Mate.html. I presently have a rather modest AMD R7 240 on it. But I don't play porn on it.

This PC has served me well for five years now (apart from those mysterious power outages which seem to have solved themselves) so I don't know if it makes sense replacing it. Perhaps I should just wait for the Windows 10 replacement to come out and decide then?

Sat, 16 November 2019 13:20

Tue, 12 November 2019 08:17

Noticed recently that when I open Firefox and it goes to find the homepage, google search, it takes about 20 seconds to load. After that it seems fine.

Using Edge, google loads immediately.

I have a pretty fast internet connection, so its not related to that. Nothing special in FF, that delays the initial load.

Any enlightment would be appreciated.

Sat, 09 November 2019 20:41

Strange ...

I might be back in the fold

Sat, 02 November 2019 15:18

Hi guys, newbie here. The CB500 forum has been down for a few days and I've no idea what's going on there.

This is a kind of generic question, as the title says, when I apply the front brake lever on the 1999 CB500 the front side light beam
is coming on and without digging out the wiring diagram which I do have somewhere, I wondered if you guys knew
common places to look for the short.
I'm thinking the two circuits will come together in the back brake light? Is that possible? Anywhere else to look?