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Mental Health Day

Fri, 11 October 2019 19:52

On the radio they've supported Mental Health Day with the tagline .."Remember you're not alone."

Thats a bit *ucking harsh on the schizophrenics

Humour and Jokes | 1 comment

Hair cut

Thu, 10 October 2019 08:22

My wife asked me earlier before going to the hairdressers

"What cut do you think would make me more attractive"

"A power cut" was apparently the wrong answer

Humour and Jokes | 4 comments

Hmmmmm

Wed, 09 October 2019 08:28

Bad news for dyslexics
On 28th October

Your cocks go black!!

Humour and Jokes | 1 comment

Going out

Tue, 08 October 2019 08:24

"Mum, I'm going out"

"You're not going out till you change that miniskirt"

"Why"

"Because I can see your balls Richard"

Humour and Jokes | 1 comment

Monkeys

Mon, 07 October 2019 17:56

Chap delivering monkeys to the zoo, his van breakes down and he calls the breakdown folk, has a long wait,

Sees his mate Paddy coming along the road and flags him down

"Paddy, I'll give you £100 to take these monkeys to the zoo"

"OK" says Paddy and puts the monkeys in the van. Off he goes.

Chap is still waiting to be recovered after a few hours and sees Paddy coming back along the road with the monkeys in the back

Flags him down again

"Paddy, I gave you £100 to take those monkeys to the zoo"

"I did" says Paddy

" but I had pleanty of money left, so we are off to the pictures"

Humour and Jokes | 3 comments

Accident

Sun, 06 October 2019 08:28

Chap is involved in a big car accident,
wakes up in hospital and looks down, The old man is gone.....

Doctor comes in and says " you have obviusly looked and noticed that a part is missing..
Well you are in luck, this hospital is one of the few that can offer a penile transplant,

Unfortunately not on the NHS, but we have 3 that are ready for the job, the choice is yours

A standard british one at 2 grand
A scottish one that has been kept under a kilt all its life for 3 grans
and a classic west indian one for 5 grand

Take your pick and let me know"

Chap replies " I have to discuss this financial matter with the wife"

Doctor agrees and arranges to come back in half hour for the decision.

Doctor returns and asks "So what is the decision"

Chap replies "Wife decided we are getting a new kitchin"....

Humour and Jokes | 2 comments

Birth

Sat, 05 October 2019 08:13

Paddy's wife gave birth to triplets

"How in God's name did that happen?" says Paddy

His wife replies "Remember that night I was very dry and we had no Vaseline, so you used 3 in 1 oil"

"Bejesus" says Paddy.

"I'm fucking glad I did'nt use WD40"

Humour and Jokes | 1 comment

Poor taste joke?

Fri, 04 October 2019 08:27

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.


When the Hospital Director became aware of Edna's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.


When he went to tell Edna the news he said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged. Because you were able to respond rationally to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays a sound mind. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hanged himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but Jim's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?"

Humour and Jokes | 3 comments

christmas

Thu, 03 October 2019 13:57

Start preparing for Christmas early.

By falling out with friends and family today.

Humour and Jokes | 4 comments

New Visor

Thu, 26 September 2019 15:47

I've a new Shark Evo 3 flip,does anyone know how,or why my visor
looks like someone has wiped it with an oily rag think
And how would you clean it,,,Cheers Thumbs Up

General Discussion | 11 comments

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