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Women [message #299927] Fri, 09 November 2018 20:39 Go to next message
Kermit is currently offline  Kermit   United Kingdom
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Registered: June 2003
Location: Yorkshire
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(22) Giacomo Agostini
don't think there's any ladies on the forum (unless your reading Jan?) so these should be fine

A police officer called the station on his radio.
"I need back up here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"Not yet. The floor's still wet."

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If a woman ever pulls a knife out on you during an argument, pull out some bread, butter and cheese.
Her instincts will kick in and she'll make you a sandwich.

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My wife just called me.
She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

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I was walking behind a woman at 3 o'clock in the morning after a night out.
She started walking faster, so I walked faster.
She started running, so I started running.
She started screaming, so I started screaming.
I never did find out what we were running away from.

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Doctor: "It looks like your pregnant"
Woman: "I`m pregnant?"
Doctor: " No it just looks like you are, you fat c**t"

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I was in the gym last night and while having a breather I noticed a hole in my trainer that was just big enough to put my finger in.
To cut a long story short, she complained and now I've been banned

[Updated on: Fri, 09 November 2018 21:45]

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Re: Women [message #299928 is a reply to message #299927] Sat, 10 November 2018 09:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Yorkie is currently online  Yorkie   United Kingdom
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Re: Women [message #299930 is a reply to message #299927] Sat, 10 November 2018 19:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ybikerdon is currently offline  ybikerdon   United Kingdom
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Re: Women [message #299931 is a reply to message #299930] Mon, 12 November 2018 13:16 Go to previous message
captainslow is currently offline  captainslow   United States
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